August signifies the end of my Québec exchange trip, my return to Vancouver, and the approaching arrival of fall – a season of maturity. My time in Québec has been so well spent; returning to Vancouver feels almost as though I’m waking up from a long dream back to reality. I’m left with mixed feelings between the excitement of starting this new chapter of my university life and the fear of growing up.
I could still recall my excitement for university that lingered throughout my entire high school senior year. I would spend hours enthusiastically researching the University of British Columbia, reading blogs from first year students and researching potential profs on ratemyprofessors.com. University was all I talked about with my friends, and I was more than ready to go!
Fast-forward to August–the month of final acceptance letters, residential confirmation details and orientation emails—everything seems to be telling me that university is here. Now that this moment is finally about to come, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed for this new start.
I remember what I would always wish for as a child: to enjoy the liberty and independence of an adult. My mother would chuckle and reply, “When you actually reach that point of your life, you will no longer wish for the same.” As with many other things she has said – she was right!
What if I’m too childish for my age?
How should I present myself in a way where people take me seriously without taking me too seriously?
What if my degree is not right for me, and/or what if I never find the right degree?
Understanding the heavy responsibilities behind becoming an adult, I think I’m finally reaching that point of my life where I’m unwilling and unready to say goodbye to the child that made up 18 years of my life. Ironically, it’s this realization that signifies the fact that I’m finally growing up.
Nonetheless, when faced with such a situation of equally mixed feelings, all I can do is choose which side should overpower the other.
This is a new start to learn about new things about myself on an unrestricted road that I will pave and it would only be silly to allow my fears to get in the way of my journey.